 | About Me | Oct 3, 2006 |
welcome to my blog...a simple name of Joseph with an attitude of sometimes funny, sometimes lame above all somebody who always shows he is stress free.... Sorry, I've been keeping out of touch for quite some time, as I'm caught up with exams and busy discussion with friends. Anyway, what I would like to blog this time is the UK's general elections, and I would say the UK's elections has never been so interesting, and heck is even more interesting that the Champions League final.
The UK's general elections are way better than the US or Malaysia. After the expenses claims erupted, the Labour government clearly were crucified both in the press and in Parliament. Don't even start with Home Sect. Jacqui Smith, her husband is the most daring husband, having claim sexual DVDs signed under her name.
Compared to the boring US and Malaysian elections, the UK's election used to be the usual 2 large party fight, but after the UK's first presidential debate, the rise of the Lib Dem party. And all 3 parties look strong both on their policies as well as their reforms. Unlike the US and Malaysian elections, even before voters go to the ballot boxes, we already know who are the winners. But with the UK, all 3 presidential candidates are confident in winning, and it's been split the total voters to 1/3.
During their debates, there were no "sob" political messages like Obama or "goodies" like Najib. There are all hard hitting facts, policies after policies, the failure of the past government. What I like is that, there was no race nor religion that was played into their political manifesto. Maybe UK's voters are more mature than the US? but definitely they are way more mature than us. We are still busy fighting over race and religion, while the UK are fighting on immigration policies.
All polls point towards a hung Parliament. Who knows, maybe David Cameron and Nick Clegg could form a pack? but Nick Clegg's policies are quite similar with Gordon Brown?
Me on the other hand, I'm waiting for the UK pound to fall tomorrow (i'm aiming below RM4.7)  because in general, after any elections, the currency would have dropped, as investors would be vary on the new government. Oh, my bet is on David Cameron as his policies sounds impressive, but the Labour government has been doing well for the past 13 years except for certain minute problems. Who knows? Politics swing both ways, but it's way better than Liberal or Democrats or even BN or Pakatan Rakyat. Eating with friends and mingling is a good thing, and when it comes to ordering food from the menu, knowing that all of us are indecisive and forever hungry, they begin to push each other what the other person wants, while the waiter stands and patiently wait.
We were at Hard Rock yesterday, I was so tired and flipped the menu, but the words and the pictures keep flashing before my eyes. As I flipped to the burger section, I saw "S.O.B burger". I thought my eyes were fooling me. I can't help myself and I decided to ask the waiter.
"What is S.O.B burger?" "It's *some super long burger name that starts with the letter S" "Oh...okay...err"(super long pause) "It's not the SOB you're thinking about" "Haha...then I shall take the 10 o.z burger"
Sometimes I'm just brutally honest...=) Today during Legal Skills, we are thrown into the sea of "client counseling" where some of us will acted as client and some of us will act as counsel. And Johanna became my client.
She was happily yapping her problem, and everytime when I was about to conclude and dispense my advise, she kept changing her story. Nashvin and I were trying our best to keep our head in a straight line and to further put us into deeper stress she can say "I'm sorry I can't pay for your fees"
Then when it came to my turn to be client, my lecturer came up with a divorce story wanted us to cry. I form the pieces of my story in my head, and I made sure Johanna was my counsel.
She thought I was about to pull the thing as she did to me, but I made up one fantastic story and tears flowed. The shock on her face tells it all.
I told her I'm married to a rich family and my father-in-law is in coma. He is about to pass down his so called "RM 20 million assets to my wife", but she wants it all by herself, so she decided to divorce me.
I just mix the cock and bull story, with tears coming out. Her face was priceless and I got my revenge back ....... Neslo Ais ......... says: ehe how
joseph says: how what?
........ Neslo Ais ......... says: how to get her ?
joseph says: u serious u want?
........ Neslo Ais ......... says: haha see first
joseph says: can i post this on my blog?
........ Neslo Ais ......... says: noo
joseph says: haha
........ Neslo Ais ......... says: can but no any girls name
joseph says: ok la
........ Neslo Ais ......... says: cannot use name
joseph says: i'll only use neslo ais can/
........ Neslo Ais ......... says: can
joseph says: but other agc ppl would know
........ Neslo Ais ......... says: that girl name also cannot
joseph says: ok la
my friend is seeking for advise of how to get this super massive hot chick, do a big favour by suggesting ways and methods. =) Yesterday, got interrogated by both Darren and Joel to test me whether I have forgotten the BBC gang. I was thrown 10 questions, of which i failed 8. Questions like "what is Darren's plate number?" "where is Joel's hometown?", "what is Darren's famous quote?" and there are other questions that involved other people.
Then, suddenly with a spark of inspiration, I got my game back and shoot all two of them down, both buggers have to raise their white flags. It all began when I check one of my saved messages in my inbox.
But the usual question they always ask me is "You got gf?", when my answer is Megan Fox, they don't believe me  this year i got the sudden mood to celebrate Chinese New Year, so the usual stuff that chinese people do is to serve tea to the elderly and wish them good wishes for throughout the year, and in return, we will get a little red packet...
simple right?
the norm is to visit my grandma, then head off to Tmn Len Seng, then section 17 PJ, sometimes we will go back to Tmn Desa.
and this year, i got the sudden urge to actually sit down near to the cookies section and pawn every single cookie that is on the table, call me greedy but i was on the mood to celebrate. While the girls were busy with the catch up my cousin was persuading me to steal a can of Carlsberg for him because he is not of age to start drinking yet.
so while Aunties were busy distributing ang pows, came one of my uncles asking my mom "Your daughter is the eldest right?" "No, my son" "Huh? i thought all these while she was the eldest"
for 20 years, i collect ang pow, they can still get confused who is elder and who is younger. Hello? If God ask you to give up your girlfriend, would you give it up?
l l l l v "I gave up"
Swordzz
u talk with her??
joseph
in the library
but other than that
no
Swordzz
wth
joseph
i got her number
=))))
jeng jeng jeng
Swordzz
diu u
so fast she gave u??
joseph
of course la...i'm handsome casanova romeo joseph lum
Swordzz
wat ever crap
Swordzz
u look at her pic n comments
shes like sangat baik la
lolx
joseph
i know
suits me
hahahha
Swordzz
*bleeped* u
evryting gotreason wa la u
joseph
haha
Swordzz
u sure bull shit wan rite
*bleeped* u
joseph
bullshit bout what?
she talked to me
and i talk to her la
When i tell the truth, no one believes me, but when i tell a lie, everyone falls for it. And when men are driven by jealousy, they will interrogate you. BEWARE!!! Next time if there is a stunning girl, and she talks to me, i think i should seal my mouth so that i won't make any guy pissed, or be driven with jealousy If a girl dresses up like Lady Gaga and asks for your opinion how she look, call 1-300-GOD-HELP-YOU (463-4357-968)If she chooses to dress up like Lady Gaga, and asks for your opinion, it's like, asking you to compare between a steak and maggi goreng...
let's look at the options that you have
if you say "I think you look great" firstly, it is a lie, secondly, you have just encouraged her to dress up like Lady Gaga for life. Congrats, you have just gave false hope yo her.
if you say "I think your dressing can be improvised" if she is close to you, then you will be off the hook, if she was an acquaintance, don't even expect her to reply your sms
if you say "damn, you're hot" she might be thinking you're flirting with her, and you might end up dating someone that looks like Lady Gaga for life
if you say "i think you look fat" then you're gone case
so, practically you have no solution to this, but what i would do is divert the topic if someone asks me how she looks. "I think i look better" "the weather is so hot today" "is your shirt blue in colour? I think i'm colour blind" "Have you seen Lady Gaga's latest fashion?" "That day i watched American Idol..." "Is that the latest fashion?" I've been telling some people about what I am currently facing now, and almost all of them never fail to laugh at me but oh well, they did gave some solutions to my problem.
My issue is so serious that even Kit Yoong promised to join OA (Orang Asli) Missions if I can solve it (I mean, try imagining how is she gonna survive in the jungle with all the mosquitos and no air-conditioned, that shows how high the stakes are)
Whereas Jeewen was so confident that I can pull this off alone, she promised that she will only buy me lunch if can pull it off in 2 DAYS time... 
I saw an opening in the dark cave on Friday during tutorials, and the first thing I did was to call Kit Yoong first and made sure she put her application form for OA. Then I did my magic, but half of my magic worked. ARRRGGHHH.
To make matters worst, God was sending signs everywhere I go. When I eat, when I sleep, when I chat on MSN, I see signs. I'm not Joseph in the Old Testament that can interpret dreams, I can only interpret legislations but not things that appear in front of me!
I'll see what other tricks I have up in my sleeves to put this behind me.  | I died | Jan 20, '10 7:30 AM
for everyone |
Sometimes you make a super big mistake that you really really regret making, and thanks to my mouth, I can foresee a big fire I need to put off
I didn't sleep the whole night thinking of how to solve this big issue while balancing the best of both worlds. while Jeewen and Kit Yoong are having a blast laughing at me, I was rolling all over my bed trying to find a solution.
Shit la. Why must I mess up some things when it was clearly perfect if it was left untouched. This morning after seeing my sis left for school, I went to have breakfast alone just to find an escape, seeing uncles having their cuppa while chatting away, I distracted myself and read the daily paper. Why? Why? Why? Why must Joseph screw it up?
Went to class later in the day and half of my mind is running to find a solution,whilst my body decides to take off to a different planet.  God...GIVE ME A SOLUTION I have been having frequent sms and calls from my friends, and all asking on one particular thing"How to do the assignment ah?" "Like this can?" "Can I see your assignment?"
I'll try my best to help them, as I believe I may need their help later if I'm stuck. But it's like some feng shui, for them to call or sms me just when i am to fall asleep. My inbox will start ringing with messages around 12.00am "What's the difference between s 18 and s 20?"
Or my phone will start ringing at 12.30am "Joseph, can you read my introduction and see where I can improve?"
And when my phone rings, they never go straight to their point of objective of calling, they will beat around the bush and then only ask me for help. For example "Bro, what's up? What you doing la? Oh tak ajak me la...ei, i wanna ask you..."
Aiyo, just get to the point and I will try my best to help you
They're actually nice people, some of them loves me so much they even give me a morning call just to make sure I will make it to 10.00am class. When I set my alarm at 8.00am, the phone will ring at 7.30am. I really wanna burn my phone.
Let's reverse time and go back to the time when you are in school uniform, and sitting in a class.Your teacher begins her lesson, and your neighbour who sits beside you is confused with what she is teaching. And since from day 1, he is still confused, but majority of the class understood with what she thought.
And your confused friend, instead of approaching your teacher, instead of going for tuition classes, instead of asking for your help, he went and burnt your house.
This was what happened today. Burning Churches because you worry you'll be confused is utter dumb, stupid, brainless, uncivilised etc... I'm convinced that the people who burnt Churches are just a small sector of society who does not use their brains, because I can sit down with my muslim friends and talk about this without even torching each other. The government is already appealing on the case, you think burning of more churches would reverse the judgement?dumbasses.
On the other hand, many politicians are coming up to speak of their condolences, where are the Christian MPs? the time for you to stand up and you're not standing up.
Let's see if the perpetrators would be caught I saw this while walking in the park  China is a great place for Chinese to bluff Chinese into buying things that are way overpriced. I had 3 funny incidents that happened in Guilin, and suprisingly all 3 have to do with the lavatory.
fyi, it was so cold in China that every word that you speak, you will see vapor coming out of your mouth, and it was so cold that when you answer nature's call, you will see vapor rises.
My first Guilin experience Like I said previously, the toilet's in China may look clean but the smell of the toilet is like it was never washed before. We just finished dinner in the Hotel and I had to release some crap. So I entered the Hotel's toilet, it looked clean at first sight, but the smell was bad, to go back to my room, it's not an option because I will end up leaving traces behind.
And some Chinese guy must have thought it was a good prank not to lift up the flap when he peed. But I knew something like this would happen and I lift the flap, and did some balancing act like in the acrobatic shows (I shall leave you and your imagination to draw conclusions for yourself)
My second Guilin experience The Chinese are actually quite smart but not so smart in some ways. I realized the road that the bus travels has 0 port holes. Unlike Malaysia where you are bound to find mini bombs waiting to kill your absorbers. But the Chinese may not be smart in making toilets, but Malaysia are smart in making RM 120 000 public toilets that are at Bukit Bintang area.
I was in a boat while enjoying my river cruise. It's highly recommended trip for tourists, because you are able to see the mountains at a closer view. And the Chinese are smart enough to build a toilet in the boat, but not smart enough to make sure the toilet doors are secured.
I patiently waited for people to evacuate the toilet, when my turn came I walked in, and latched the toilet door, and I realised that the door would open even with the slightest push from the outside, so I put my right leg on the bottom of the door to secure it as I foresee that something bad could arise.
And I was right!!! 2 young Malaysian around the age of 10-13, wanted to crash my party. And I had to cut short my short lifted joy or else I will have 1 hour of fame throughout the river cruise.
My funniest moment. We were in a bus having a 2 hour bus ride to go to the next destination, and in China good roads does not mean there is a rest place for you to eat or ease yourself. The only toilet available could be the next possible petrol station. So I told my tour guide, I badly need to ease myself or else he and the bus driver needs to clean the bus.
And remember I said my tour guide was "fantastic"? He calmly told me to wait for another minute, because we will reach the toilet soon.
Less than one minute in the middle of the road, the bus stops and the door open. The bus driver opens the door and the tour guide told me to get down and cross the road to go to the nearest tree. I looked at him with a serious face (as in real serious) "You got to be joking me?" His answer was best, "Jimmy no joking, you cross the road and find a tree" A family of 15, took a private tour to Guilin, with little knowledge of Mandrin and a "fantastic" local tour guide.
When we reached Guilin air port, my uncle's asked the local tour guide what is the temperature outside, he said "Twibe", all of us have to scratch our head wondering if the Englishmen had such a word in the dictionary. What he meant was actually twelve, but some how his accent prevents him from pronouncing "Twelve". Imagine if his first word to us was "Twibe", try to be in our shoes for 5 days and 4 nights, most of the time figuring out what he says. He can pronounce "Gwan" instead of "Grand".
He even tried cracking jokes, my uncle asked if we are using the same bus throughout the tour his answer "No, no, bus don't change, but Jimmy can change...hahah...no, no, you can't change Jimmy". Instead of laughing, I look at my cousins and my cousins look at me
Let me summarize my experience and let the pictures do the talking. Food: was great but try having the same thing for lunch and dinner
Weather: 5-16 degrees (and yours truly slept shirtless and boxers)
Flight: so tight that every move I make will shake the person in front
Guilin: BEAUTIFUL
People: some nice, some rude, some blur
Language: Majority mandrin but most of them are beginning to speak Cantonese (big help to me) and they sound like HongKy people
Toilet: looks can be deceiving, beautiful toilets does not guarantee smelly-free toilets. The smell can penetrate through any facial masks that are made. some mountain that looks like an elephant drinking water  some mountain  Million Year Old tree this is my grandma putting her hand into the mouth of the dragon, legend says that if you find the pearl in the dragon's mouth, you have some good luck or something like that. Joseph says if you french kiss the dragon, prepare to run if the dragon responds to your kiss. another knock out scenery kissing a monk's head will not make your grandma happy using super macro to get this picture this used to be a bar during the olden days. I wanted to walk in to have a shot, but I worry the bar tender would be dressed in skeletons and some nice views of Guilin.
Part 2 will have some laughter for you guys Let me introduce Abigail, the only baby in church during worship, she will come up to me and play with my cheeks, and when i take my revenge, she will raise her voice as a defense. We will often have our own arguments, I will call her "Naughty girl" and she will protest she's a "Good girl". And this can go on for hours.
To make matters worst, she thinks I'm the same age with her. She took her Barney toy and puts it in my arms, and asking me to carry it like I'm carrying my own child. When I hide her toys, she will raise her voice again, and would naturally alert the whole world  "You naughty boy, I good girl" Had a 14 hour sleep after camp, and the feeling was great. No doubt HCC has the BESTEST/AWESOMEST/GREATEST comforters provided, but i still love my bed. I shall not describe how was camp, but just check out other people's facebook status, I guess they speak on my behalf too.
For me, it is not just the tears that flowed or what the speaker has prophesied but rather to keep on the journey and not fall back. That for me, is what I'm more concerned. I'm not here to discourage or pour cold water, but to further push on the passion that you guys received.
So, remember what God has spoke personally to you and not forget it.
Anyway here are some survival tips that I've learn throughout all the camps that I've went: - Don't need to bring toiletries. (You can always borrow from others, but if your roommate was John Kit and had to leave for work on the last day, then just have a Hack's sweet instead of using his toothpaste)
- If your Bible is as big as your plate, download the Bible App and you're good to go
- Stationery can be shared
- Don't need to bring camera, use your handphone
| Camp!!! | Dec 16, '09 9:10 AM
for everyone |
Finally, a chance to get out of KL. All the youths are already in Camerons and I will be journeying my way up tomorrow.
And I've just only started packing. Let me see what I have in my luggage
1. 3 shorts 2. deodorants 3. towel 4. shirt (for Mis-match Nite) 5. sarong (for Mis-match nite also) 6. Bible 7. Lyrics (for worship) 8. Stationery 9. Sandals 10. Sport Shoe 11. Tons of t-shirt 12. Myself
This time around, I don't think I can enjoy camp as before, because I'm in the committee, which means, no laughing like a crazy person, no lame jokes, wake up early (if that is even possible), practise for worship, take care of younger youths, have to be alert throughout the whole camp, cannot curi-curi go sleep (because I'm sharing room with Deputy Commander)
fyi, I'm loving Taeyang's songs. Wedding Dress and Only Look at Me are my current playlist. Just to drop a few hints to you guys what I want for Christmas
ps: I'm considering to change my hairstyle like his, and his dance moves are damn nice when I saw the Nike Lace Up Save Lives, I knew I have to get it. It was published on The Star the day after Drogba demolish Arsenal, and immediately I fell in love with it. First of all, it's because it was red, and my adidas StanSmith is white top and red soles, so, to make it look more different than some of my friends, I've decided to change the laces. Secondly, the whole RM 15 for the pair of laces, NIke guarantees to give it to fight against AIDS. I think, the whole Nike campaign of course has it's own values, but some people have claimed that it's just another marketing campaign by Nike to penetrate the World Cup. Simply because adidas is the main sponsor and controls all of the sporting merchandise, so to break into the World Cup, Nike aims to collaborate with (red) in order to attract football fans.
Kind of a good marketing skills isn't it?
oh well, I'm having an adidas shoe with Nike laces on, best of both worlds.
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Wind spinners |
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 | heya~
spm cumin soon norh~
all the best oOrhx!
-.^ |
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